Right. Just got back from walkies with Sheldon. Gave him hug. Told him how much I love him and gave him sausage.
Put the PC on! Put the kettle on! Get changed to something baggy, old and comfy. Make sure you don't need to get out for the rest of the day. Move monitor out of the way. Clean the desk. Get the earphones. Get the pen. Get the paper. Take a deep breath....and...Dot... Dot... Dot... Dot. Dot Dot Dot The dots start flowing through me finding their dedicated spot on the paper. I start to feel the calming warmth to spread. The tightness starts to loosen up and I let go of everything except that pen. There is no need to eat, no need to drink, no need to go to bed, toilet, out...
I stop only :
1. when I can't see anymore and everything is blurred or
2. start getting cramps in hand or
3. Sheldon jumps on me, wanting a little bit of attention and love (after ages of unsuccessful staring, shuffling and farting trying to get my attention)
..but what did I wanted to?...ah yeah-> I love it! And I think I'm pretty good at it as well. When I sit here and dot, I don't feel the need to play with a skin around my fingernails, I don't have the need to pick on every spot or flake on my face or rip every scab I find. I don't bite my lip as much, I don't rock back and forward, I don't need to violently chew on chewing gum or tap with my fingers or foot, I don't need to keep squeezing my fists or pinching my fingers in pockets ...dotting makes me calm. Dotting makes me happy. Dotting keeps me sane. When I'm sitting here and drawing, it feels right, it feels like that is what I'm supposed to do. That's what I was born to do.